WARNINGS, DO's & DON'Ts
Andy: Well I think the best way to say this is "it depends". If I am in Kuala Lumpur and I am spinning your bracelet it might take a few weeks.
Vick: It's far more detailed than that Andy, doesn't it have to do with how busy we are?
Bobby: Vick is totally right. We will have 4 mobile workshops moving around the world with us. We can't be making promises we can't keep! If 2 of us are busy with shit and they are not spinning then the pressure will be on the other 2 partners. God knows how many orders we get. Shit, what if we get busy? We are NOT prepared for that and I am not SWEATSHOPPIN' this shit out! You know what I mean?
Andy: I totally know what you mean - no sweatshops. Each bracelet will be hand crafted by one of us. We need to co-ordinate our shit.
Vick: That's not good enough. We can't let the client be wondering when their BRVVA will arrive on their doorsteps.
Andy: He's right - we need to figure out how to give some warning
Roland: Let them order their gorgeous bracelets. We will advise them with 1-2 days if we think the process will take longer than 2-3 weeks. If they are not happy - let's refund them.
Vick: That's fair enough - let's give them some sort of heads up.
Andy: I think that's cool. If they ain't happy, give them their money back. If they have no patience, then we don't need 'em.
Bobby: 100% we don't need impatient dicks.
Roland: Yup - I agree. We are doing this for the BRVVA-HOOD.
Andy: To the BRVVA-HOOD.
Vick: To the BRVVA-HOOD.
And there you have it, go ahead and order your gorgeous bracelet. We will advise you by email if we think that the delay will be longer than 2-3 weeks. We will also make sure this is clear ON THE SITE. We are Four buddies. We are the only ones making the bracelets. There ain't no goddamn sweatshop. Limited production – Quality Shit. The bracelets will be shipped from anywhere in the world where we have our portable workshops.
Roland: Holy shit I have lost 3 already.
Vick: Dude, we already told you DON'T FUCKING TAKE IT INTO THE OCEAN.
Andy: Yeah man, you are always whipping your hand this way and that. I saw you last week when you were surfing - I think I saw your Bhodi Lava fly off your wrist. Why are you too stupid to listen?
Roland: But I love wearing them. I look so fucking good.
Bobby: Clients - don't wear them in the water - you will lose them. If you are throwing a ball, they will go flying off your wrist. Trust us WE KNOW.
Vick: Yep, we have all lost. I take mine off my wrist when I do sports.
Andy: Oh yeah, these fuckers will age. Non silver items will discolor in a beautiful way. I prefer them AFTER They have aged.
Bobby: Yup, these are all natural creations.
Roland: Come on guys, someone will be pissed off.
Vick: Pissed because they are aging with the wearer? You fucking joking with me?
Roland: What if someone wants to get it, you know, "REFRESHED".
Andy: That's reasonable. A BRVVA wants to get his BRVVA "refreshed". That is reasonable.
Roland: Exactly, finally someone is listening to me.
Vick: I don't even know what this "refreshed" means and why we are using fucking "Quotation marks" when we say the fucking word .
Andy: It means a BRVVA complains and we STEP-UP.
Bobby: Yup we STEP-UP
Roland: STEPPING UP .. we ain't no pussies. We STEP UP.
Andy: No Pussies allowed here .
Vick: Fine, whatever. You are all weird. At least there are no more "Quotation marks".
Bobby: Agreed.
Roland: Beautiful we are in business.
Final Note: Something aging in a way you don't like? Contact Us. We are ALL BRVVAS. We will take good care of you
Roland: Ha ha - You are so fucking pussy whipped dude!!
Vick: You got to learn how to whip that pussy and NOT be so goddamn pussy-whipped.
Andy: My boyfriends would never give me shit, they would only want to know WHERE they could purchase these museum style masterpieces. We gay men are so unbelievably aligned.
Bobby: Your wife laughing at you? Just return it to us. We will tell the world your name and that you are pussy whipped. Capital "P" dude.
Vick: Have you considered growing some balls?
Andy: You straight guys are fucking pathetic.
Roland: GUYS .. maybe they are expecting us to give them some advice and not just laugh at their own weakness.
Vick: How do we teach a grown man how to walk tall?
Andy: IM-FUCKING-POSSIBLE.
Bobby: Listen Dude, you look her straight in the eye, straight in the goddamn eye and you say "Listen woman, this BRVVA Bracelet is WHO I AM." Say it seriously and if she still laughs at you, just lean over smack her ass and tell her 'Listen woman, this is the new reality".
Roland: What nonsense advice, like really. OK, here we go, my take. Hold her 2 hands in your hands, look her straight in the eye and say softly but with confidence, "Honey, I have been missing something in my life and I find that when I wear my BRVVA, I feel more complete as a man and more in tune with our relationship." Then you fucking lean over and smack her in the ass, but like hard, you know.
Vick: Enough with your stupidities. Remind me why we are even talking about this ?
OK, no slapping asses, unless during sex. Look her in the eye, tell her that you love its feel and it is super masculine and not only will you be wearing one.. you might wear more. When she says "How many?" You say "5". Let her negotiate you down to 3. And that, my friends, is how you deal with a woman. By the way - This is Andy, you straight guys are clued out on women.