Some General Insanity
Bobby: I hate the names of the bracelets, who chose them? And the descriptions? Equally strange.
Andy: I chose them, what’s the problem?
Bobby: They sound super gay.
Andy: Fuck you I am gay.
Bobby: I didn’t say they are gay, I said they sound gay. And I know you are gay, we ALL know you are gay.
Roland: They do sound gay. All that damn mysticism. We are here giving men the best goddamn bracelets in the world. We ain’t selling them some spiritual shit.
Andy: Fuck you too – It was my job and I chose the names and these names have meaning for me. I believe in this stuff so end of story.
Bobby: No, this is not an “end of story” conversation. Don’t put your foot down like that. We need some balance.
Roland: Oh you and your damn balance in life. We need MANLY names not "Spiritual Modern Religion" names. We don’t sell bracelets to Dames. Maybe they would like these types of names.
Andy: Fool. We will get Dames who wanna buy a gift for their Man.
Roland: Yeah you’re right. But still I want MANLY names.
Vick: Like what “Pumping Ebony Heat” or “Streaking Sandalwood Serpent”?
Bobby: Shit, that sounds really gay.
Andy: Flaming Gay – can we just leave my names, call it a day?
Roland: OK
Vick: Yup, you are in charge but NO PROMISES of eternal salvation or any shit like that.
Bobby: No salvation but they should feel the power of the bracelets. The power that RISES through them. We need that shit. I like that shit.
Andy: I like that shit too – I feel fucking BAD ASS powerful when I wear my Kundalini snake.
Roland: Me too, fucking LOVE my Bhodi Relic, it is killah’. I feel powerful, like I can take on the world. They also look so fucking good when I wear different strands, different sizes.
Bobby: Agreed. We are kings of the world, let's strut our stuff. Take no prisoners.
Andy: Amen BRVVAS. Amen
BRVVAS makes no promise of eternal salvation nor do we promise your cock will grow longer. We do promise that you will feel FUCKING POWERFUL when you wear our shit. Why? Cuz our shit is bad-ass.
Andy: You’d like that huh, if we had a slogan.
Roland: Be the best you can be motherfucker.
Vick: Why does a brand need a slogan.
Bobby: I hate big brands. I will be pissed if we get big. None of us need the money, so lets just keep this shit exclusive.
Vick: I need the money.
Andy: No you don’t, you have 2 homes and no mortgage, don’t be a shithead.
Bobby: What if we get too many orders? We got to be able to slow it down. Slow that shit down.
Andy: Have you seen the way we talk on this website? There is no way we are getting too many orders. We have made every attempt to piss off as many people as possible.
Roland: Yeah, lets continue doing that. I like pissing off people.
Bobby: Roland, why are you always looking to start a fight?
Roland: Its in my genes – I am fighter not a lover.
Vick: Slogan – We need a slogan that will piss off people.
Roland: BRVVA – cuz you just don’t give a rat’s ass.
Vick: BRVVA – cuz you give a rat’s ass.
Roland: Why the fuck are you always copying me?
Vick: BRVVA – Cuz our shit stinks big time.
Bobby: Yeah, our shit does stink. That’s a good thing right?
Roland: Damn French Frog – No, stinky Shit is not a good thing.
Bobby: I am German, stop calling me French. How about this - BRVVA – Weil ich kann.
Vick: What does that mean?
Bobby: In German it means “Because I can”.
Andy: Oh I like that shit. BRVVA – Because I Can. Because There are No Rules.
Roland: Winner.
Vick: Winner.
Andy: Yo Bobby, where did you get that from?
Bobby: A weird book that was suggested to me – a really fucking weird book.
Vick: What's the name?
Bobby: To My Twin Tattooed Sons. Many expats in China are talking about it and the author. Lots of speculation about the real name of the author. Now BRVVAs it gets even crazier than that!
Andy: Is the book any good?
Bobby: Hell yeah, super mysterious, some possible supernatural shit, some powerful life lessons, crazy sexual shit, intrigue and cryptic codes. It might be the best book I have read in 20 years. And somewhere inside, I THINK our company is mentioned - I THINK.
Roland: What the Fuck?
Bobby: Yup, I THINK but I have not found it yet. The author this "Ant" dude says he bought some bad-ass bracelets in Shanghai at a market. I don't know anyone else but me that has been in Shanghai in 2024 testing the products at some fairs. This is fucking crazy.
Roland: The Ant? Why the Ant?
Bobby: Because he is a meaningless insect and he knows it.
Vick: Roland won't read it - He is fucking a loser. He doesn’t read.
Roland: Fuck you I have dyslexia.
Andy: No you don’t, you are just lazy. Bobby, I just found it on amazon. The author is I.M. Ant? I am an Ant? Really?
Roland: Yeah really. Really really. Buy it. And help me find our company name inside the book.
BRVVA Bracelets – Because we fucking can. Because there are no rules. Because we LOVE ourselves. Because we DO care. Because we love our lives - because we are modern men. We don’t need reasons to do what we do, we just need to fucking do it.
Roland: See I told you someone would comment on this.
Bobby: You are an idiot. YOU wrote the subject line, no client did.
Roland: Yeah, but we are supposed to know what they are thinking and answer them before they say anything, so who is the idiot now?
Bobby: Yeah, yeah, I can’t argue with a moron.
Andy: How many products are we currently showing.
Roland: I am not counting them.
Vick: What % of the products that we worked on / discussed are “live”
Roland: I dunno, maybe 50% and that doesn’t include all the cool shit like knives and cool silver ashtrays and sex shit.
Vick: I told you we ain’t never selling sex shit.
Roland: But we are BRVVAS right?
Bobby: No sex shit – putting my foot down.
Andy: No sex shit.
Vick: No sex shit. Majority wins.
Andy: Let’s just focus on being the best goddamn men’s wristwear company in the world. OK. No more and no less. I don’t want to discuss anything else at this time.
Vick: Yeah focus on bracelets. Hey, did anyone see those badass Brazilian Rosewood Beads that I sent out?
Bobby: Over-the-top gorgeous. Let’s include in the second launch. We have too many products already. Tell Paolo that he is an honorary BRVVA.
Andy: Oh don’t worry about Paolo, I gave him a very special gift last month when I was in Rio.
Roland: Shit, that sounds a little gay.
Andy: You bet your ass it was a gay thing and and it wasn’t “Little”.
Vick: Enough – Keep it low-key.
That’s Right! Here at BRVVAs we make all attempt to keep it LOW-KEY, but we fail miserably every time. We have TONS of great ideas. Top quality and limited production..